Kottler, Jeffrey- On Being a Therapist up to p75
On Being a Therapist
clients and practitioners both influence each other
it is very intimate contact, interfacing with another's pain
a result of touching other's pain is having our own issues touched, old wounds re-opened
the force and spirit of who the therapist is as a human being most dramatically stimulates change
a therapist enters relationship with clarity, openness and serenity and comes fully prepared to encounter a soul in torment
a client comes with expectations for a mentor, guru, doctor, friend or wizard
studies have postulated that the most effective systems are designed to maximize the client's expectations for a successful outcome
the active placebo is set in motion by the dress, setting, manner and style of the helper and her environment
techniques get in the way of good therapy when they are used as a shield to avoid intimacy with a client. "the more insecure a therapist, the more likely it is that he or she will hide behind technique, dogmatically pursuing it without it necessarily being in the best interests of the client"
if we have been able to build a constructive alliance, if we have earned clients' respect and trust such that they are open to being influenced by us, the will venture forth and take the risks necessary to improve their lives
It is the practitioners job to encourage risk taking - encouraging risk taking allows clients to move forward and change their lives
risks of being a therapist
- being desensitized to other's pain
- overreacting
throughout the process of therapy, being with the client is our main instrument of cure
not only can you catch the patient's colds and flus, but their negativity, pessimism and psychopathology
it is impossible to care deeply about people, without caring what they do
our self esteem and sense of self will come under assault
we will feel responsible for the cure of others
it is painful when clients quit
sense of inadequacy and failure if they leave to see another therapist
there is pressure to perform
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CHAPTER TWO
there may be a struggle for power and influence between client and practitioner
or spontaneous modeling of behavior due to influence of one person or the other
the principal hazard of the profession is to truly buy into the narcissistic belief that you are special
the ideal therapist is comfortable with herself and appears warm, tolerant, sincere, serene, tranquil, and self-assured. this quiet confidence is counterbalanced by a contagious zest for life. Passion. Excitement. Electricity. Enthusiasm. She radiates from body and soul.
we communicate with what we say, and also how we say it
master clinicians are driven to understand the human condition
it is both an intellectual and emotional hunger- which is dangerous when the therapist is unable or unwilling to have a live outside of work, and beyond the role of helper
the goal is to have consistent helping mechanisms, ones which do not always flex depending on the therapists's mood or energy level
the fusion of personal and professional roles underlies some of the risks inherent in intimacy with clients
the desire to be useful is often the biggest motivation to enter this profession
there is much self-healing to be done in conjunction with practice
each working day holds for us a confrontation with the issues we fear most
taking our own advice: regardless of the client or presenting complaint, there is repetition in the themes we present
- if you don't take care of yourself, no one else will
- we will be dead for a very long time
Sx are usefull in getting your attention
Sx will not go away until they are no longer needed
we are all afraid of hte dark
if you don't expect anything, you will never be disappointed
100yrs from now, no one will care what you did with your life
you have less to lose than you think
it is hard to love without vulnerability
change does not occur without risks
we are all afraid of being wrong
we do not like the responsibility of being right
eveyrthing worth doing is difficult
Bugental: realized that what he considers the most impt to know and understand he learned doing therapy: choice is poser, perfectionism is a disease, that relationships are terrifying, loss is a part of life, that just as clients imprison themselves and their worlds so are we guilty of limiting our own choices and possibilities
we must be careful to protect our families from emotional fallout leftover from work
how we work is completely dependent on who we are at that time- including the most recent books or influences in our lives. as we change, our way of working will change.
beign a therapist affords us the opportunity for continual spiritual, intellectual, and emotional growth
Hardships of therapeutic practice
...
the clinician's life is fraught with draining days, intense pressures, and personal risks
new therapists carry the burden of fears of inadequacy and fear of failure
this is compounded by conflicting advice and data from both the patient and your peers/mentors/role models, etc. - there will always be a diversity of views as to what is right
this is an occupational hazard
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